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Captain Paradox
2004-05-26 16:10:46
Imponderables!

  I love these "Imponderables" - questions with no definite answer.

If a deaf boy swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Is it possible to choke to death on a Lifesaver?

Why does Yoda do front flips and back flips to fight Count Dooku and then pick up his cane the moment after the fight?

Why do those crazy Americans drive on the right side of the road?

Does anybody have any other classics? I'd love to add them to my collection.

Victor Zapana
2004-05-26 22:57:57
Re: Imponderables!

If a deaf boy swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
No, the deaf boy will do it anyway when he showers.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Unsliced bread.
Is it possible to choke to death on a Lifesaver?
Yes, if you're a baby.
Why does Yoda do front flips and back flips to fight Count Dooku and then pick up his cane the moment after the fight?
Because Yoda was a gymnast before he was a jedi master. A really gaudy and flashy gymnast.
Why do those crazy Americans drive on the right side of the road?
Coz we're crazy. :)

fwaff
2004-05-27 03:40:57
Re: Imponderables!

Does that mean that sane Americans (assuming there are some) drive on the left-hand side of the road?

Popstar Dave
2004-05-27 09:04:30
Re: Imponderables!

Before drawing boards, what did they go back to?

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your ass?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

Why does a gynecologist leave the room when their patient gets undressed?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is?

Captain Paradox
2004-05-27 12:11:27
Re: Imponderables!

  Popstar Dave - I heard a sermon once about Gilligan's Island. Did you notice that each of the castaways practices at least one of the seven deadly sins?

The Skipper: Anger and Gluttony

Ginger: Lust

Mr. Howl: Greed

Mrs. Howl: Sloth

Mary Ann: Jealousy

The Professor: Pride

  But what about Gilligan? He's the devil! Think about it; he always dresses in red, he brings out the worst of those sins in everybody, and whenever they're all about to be saved . . . he screws it up, keeping them on the island!

Anyhoo . . .

Can a vegetarian eat animal crackers?

If a #2 pencil is the most popular, shouldn't it be #1?

Would you gain weight if you jogged backwards?

How do we know that dark is the absence of light? What if light is the absence of dark?

Why is there an "s" in the word "lisp"?

Cory Taylor
2004-05-27 14:06:20
Re: Imponderables!

some more frequently listed ones...

What is the speed of "dark"?

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

If Corn oil comes from Corn, where does Baby oil come from?

Why is it called a "drive"way, when all you do is park there?

Carlos Da Peanut
2004-05-27 14:43:48
Re: Imponderables!

  Why is it called a "park"way, when all you do is drive there?

Erik
2004-06-04 17:24:26
Re: Imponderables!

How come they put braille on the key pads of drive-up ATMs?

How come you can catch a cold but you can't catch a hot? Is hot faster than cold?

How come the people who snore are always the first to fall asleep?

DJ
2004-06-05 01:41:27
Re: Imponderables!

Why do you send cargo by ship and a shipment in a car?

Why do you say the alarm goes off, when it really comes on?

How do you draw a blank?

How can they have solo synchronized swimming?

and, on that note:

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to?

Why do you call it a building after it's already been built?

Why do they sterilize the lethal injection needle?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

How does the snowplow driver get to work?

When a fly lands on the ceiling, at what point does it turn upside down?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why isn't phoenetic spelled the way it sounds?

If a dog's sense of smell is 100 times that of a human's, why do they have to stick their noses up your butt?

.. that's all i can think of for now ...

Popstar Dave
2004-06-05 05:46:58
Re: Imponderables!

> Why isn't phoenetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?
What's another word for synonym?

Carlos Da Peanut
2004-06-06 11:30:15
Re: Imponderables!

Why are there pay toilets but no pay sinks or pay paper towel dispensers?

What was Herman Melville thinking when he made Moby Dick a giant white sperm whale?

When is it tomorrow? Isn't it always today?

What are buffalo wings? Buffalo, or wings?

DJ
2004-06-06 22:03:14
Re: Imponderables!

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

What hair color goes on a bald man's drivers license?

Just imagine how fast lighting would be if it didn't zigzag..

SilverKnight
2004-06-07 16:59:58
Re: Imponderables!

Bald hair color, you ask... :-)

Captain Paradox
2004-06-07 21:29:41
Re: Imponderables!

  Why do the Japanese anime characters have eyes that are ten times bigger thant the Japanese themselves?

If shrimp indicates something small, what is jumbo shrimp?

If you're a cross-eyed dyslexic, can you read all right?

If crosswords have the clues to the left of the grid so right handers can see the clues while writing, why did the Hebrews write right to left? Were they all left handed?

If a mugger rips off one of your upper appendages, is it armed robbery?

If you're talking about a train while riding it and are still talking about it as you exit, are you getting off the subject?

Captain Paradox
2004-06-07 21:30:18
Re: Imponderables!

  Why do the Japanese anime characters have eyes that are ten times bigger thant the Japanese themselves?

If shrimp indicates something small, what is jumbo shrimp?

If you're a cross-eyed dyslexic, can you read all right?

If crosswords have the clues to the left of the grid so right handers can see the clues while writing, why did the Hebrews write right to left? Were they all left handed?

If a mugger rips off one of your upper appendages, is it armed robbery?

If you're talking about a train while riding it and are still talking about it as you exit, are you getting off the subject?

Captain Paradox
2004-06-07 21:31:58
Re: Imponderables!

  Oops, sorry. I think I hit post twice.

Steve Royer
2004-06-18 20:55:21
Re: Imponderables!

you park in a driveway because you drive on a parkway

Steve Royer
2004-06-18 20:56:28
Re: Imponderables!

do you eat in a diner or dine in an eatery

Steve Royer
2004-06-18 21:02:24
Re: Imponderables!

does Andy Roony get his stuff from this thread?

Billy Bob
2004-07-22 18:03:07
Re: Imponderables!

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Bruce Brantley
2004-09-03 05:48:14
Re: Imponderables!

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stayed up all night wondering if there is a dog?

Why do hot dogs come in packs of 10 and buns in packs of 8?

Dustin
2005-03-10 02:21:54
Re: Imponderables!

Do vampires get AIDS?

Jer
2005-03-10 17:34:46
Re: Imponderables!

If a vegetarian eats only vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do performers play at a recital but recite at a play?

Why do you fill in a form when you are filling it out?

Why do feet smell and noses run?

Bruce Brantley
2005-04-19 22:13:08
Re: Imponderables!

How did a Fool and his Money get to gether in the first place?

What happens if you get scared half to death, ..... Twice? - Steven Wright

Why does Chili taste hot?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Why aren't there ever any guilty bystanders?

Do Australians call the rest of the world "The Up Over"? Cpt P?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuff's?

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you actually done?

Why don't they make mouse flavored cat food?

Why does Hawaii have an interstate?

Where does the white go when snow melts?

What's the synonym for thesaurus?

Captain Paradox
2005-04-20 12:45:20
Re: Imponderables!

Why do people say "I don't have all day."? How can you not have all day?

If banana cream pie is made of bananas and cream, what is chicken pot pie made of?

Why is there no period after the Dr in Dr Pepper?

If boxers get cauliflower ears, do cauliflowers get boxer ears?

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