Erik O.
20050726 20:17:52 
Math Jokes
A biologist, an artist and an engineer were discussing the merrits of wives vs. mistresses.
The biologist said, "Wives are better than mistresses because they provide a stable home environment that is conducive to raising healthy, well educated offspring. Without good wives all children would be indistinguishable from the animals."
The artist retorted, "Mistresses are better because they add spice to life and make you more creative. Without mistresses there would be no Mona Lisa or Sistine Chapel."
The engineer said, "You're both wrong. It's best to have a wife AND a mistress; that way each thinks you're spending all your time with the other but in reality you can go to the lab and get some work done." 
Erik O.
20050726 20:20:39 
Re: Math Jokes
A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician were talking together outside a building on campus when they noticed two people entering the building. Some time later three people exited.
The biologist thought, "The must have procreated."
The physicist thought, "My initial observation must have been incorrect."
The mathematician thought, "If one more person enters that building there will be zero people inside."

nikki
20050727 04:03:41 
Re: Math Jokes
This is fun! I have 7 at the moment... but here's just one for now (though you've probably heard it before):
An engineer was crossing the road one day, when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess"
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a
beautiful princess and stay with you for a week"
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it
to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me I'll turn back
into a beautiful princess and stay with you for a week and do ANYTHING you
want me to"
Again the engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned it to his pocket.
Finally the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful
princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do ANYTHING you want me
to. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool" 
gail
20050802 03:40:53 
Re: Math Jokes
Not really a joke, but my daughter's high school calculus class all got tshirt which read:
Don't let your friends drink and derive. 
Tristan
20050808 22:47:34 
Re: Math Jokes
I heard this from a math teacher:
A biologist, a engineer and mathematician vacation in Britain. They see a black sheep off in the distance.
The biologist says, "Ah! So the sheep in Britain are black!"
The engineer says, "No. At least one kind of sheep in Britain is black."
The mathematician says, "No. There is at least one sheep in Britain that is black on one side." 
Erik O.
20050809 15:19:58 
Re: Math Jokes
There are 10 kinds of people in this worldthose who understand binary notation and those who don't. 
McWorter
20050811 02:10:47 
Re: Math Jokes
In 1493
Galileo Galilee
shocked the world
when he unfurled
the secret of the starry sea.
He was world renowned,
his theories sound.
But the Pope, wit slow
said he didn't know
his math from a scroll in the ground. 
jeffrey
20050813 03:34:02 
Re: Math Jokes
this is kind o a riddle ad quite common
divide 30 by half
add 10
subtract 5
think it equals 20?




answer
30 divided by HALF is inverse which equal 60+105=65 
nikki
20050824 03:04:30 
Re: Math Jokes
I love the "10 kinds of people" one. I've seen it on a Tshirt, which I covet. Here's another...
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greenkeeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greenkeeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" 
Andreevna
20050902 10:44:57 
Re: Math Jokes
OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just reduce to lowest terms
OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just disintegrate
OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just go off on a tangent
OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just lose some functions

Jer
20050902 18:52:36 
Re: Math Jokes
2 plus two equals 5 for sufficiently large values of 2 
Erik O.
20051118 14:22:34 
Re: Math Jokes
A doctor, a physicist, and an IT manager were discussing the world's oldest profession.
The Doctor began "In the beginning, God took a rib from Adam and created Eve. Only a doctor would have been able to do that. That's how we know medicine is the oldest profession."
"Ah", replied the physicist. "You're forgetting that before Adam and Eve were created, God took a system that was nothing but chaos and created order. The stars and planets follow in predetermined paths, oceans evaporate into clouds that rain on the land, tectonic plates create mountains... None of that could happen without the laws of physics, therefore it is the oldest prefession."
"Who do you think created all the chaos?" asked the IT manager. 
Mindy Rodriguez
20051120 18:45:50 
Re: Math Jokes
Two male mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math.
The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question. All she has to do is answer one third x cubed.
She repeats "one thir  dex cue"?
He repeats "one third x cubed".
Her: `one thir dex cuebd'? Yes, that's right, he says. So she agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself, "one thir dex cuebd...".
The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks "what is the integral of x squared?".
The waitress says "one third x cubed" and while walking away, turns back and says over her shoulder "plus a constant!"
from http://www.math.utah.edu/~cherk/mathjokes.html 
Bruce Brantley
20051220 12:46:02 
Re: Math Jokes
How do you know when you are confronted by the mathmatical mafia?
They make you an offer you can't understand.
A mathematician comes home one night and his wife asks, "what do you love more? math or me?" The mathematician replies, "certainly it's you dear." The wife asks him to prove it. The mathematician says, "Let R= all lovable things....." 