Since the person (or supposedly anarticulate object) would speak "Of something common, vulgar, dry " with a view to befuddling the targeted audience; the solutions might be a conundrum, a puzzle or a riddle.
However, upon closer examination, the "webs of pedantic prose" restriction takes away the "puzzle" and "conundrum" as possible answers, leaving "riddle" ( or a "riddler") as the only possible solution.
A look at the 8th and the 10th line reinforces the view that only "riddle" or "riddler" satisfies all the conditions of the problem.
Edited on September 8, 2006, 5:25 am
Edited on September 8, 2006, 5:26 am